( snoring and squeaking )
( thunder crashes )
( lightning crackles )
( yelps )
It's raining Krabby Patties!
Yeah!
( moaning )
Huh?
( stomach growls )
A quick midnight snack, and then it's back to bed.
( Gary meows )
Ah, sleep tight, my little angel.
( snores, meows )
( stairs creak )
Ah, here it is.
Nothing like a sea-nut butter and jellyfish jelly sandwich
to help you get to sleep.
( snoring )
( "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy" playing )
( alarm clock ticking; click; foghorn blows loudly )
( teeth chattering )
( yelps )
The fridge!
( quavering )
( teeth clatter )
( shudders )
Whoa!
Oop!
( groans )
( teeth clatter )
( meows )
Oh, Gary, I don't feel like myself.
( meows )
Don't be silly, Gary.
I don't get colds.
I get the suds.
( meows )
No, Gary... ( sniffles )
If I had the suds, I'd have bubbles coming out of me.
( gears up to sneeze, then sneezes )
( moans exhaustedly )
( meows )
I can't get the suds
because then I'll have to miss work.
( sniffles )
( suppresses sneeze )
( meows )
No, Gary.
l like wearing my underwear like this.
( Gary meows )
I'm not sick.
I'm going to work.
( suppresses sneeze )
SpongeBob, what's holding up those patties?
Right away, sir.
SpongeBob, what's wrong with you?
You're paler than a baby sea horse.
( meows )
The suds?
Here's that patty you wanted, Mr. Krabs, sir.
( gearing up to sneeze )
All right, SpongeBob, you're too sick to work.
No, Mr. Krabs, I'm okay, honest.
No, now go home and get some rest.
Nothing personal, lad.
I just can't have you sneezing all over my food.
CUSTOMERS: Huh?!
( customers shouting )
No, wait. Wait!
( screaming )
Oh, Gary...
( sniffles )
...I feel horrible.
( sneezes )
Oh, who am I kidding, Gary?
I've got the suds, no doubt about it.
( sniffles )
( sneezes )
l better take care of this before it gets out of hand.
( phone cuckoos )
Hello.
Sandy, I'm sick.
Can you escort me to the doctor's?
Oh, sure, SpongeBob,
l'll be there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit
on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August...
Yeah, Sandy, thanks.
( SpongeBob sneezes )
( doorbell rings )
Coming.
Hey, SpongeBob.
Going skiing?
I'm sick, Patrick.
I'm going to the doctor.
What? Oh, you can't go!
Why not, Patrick?
I know a guy who knows a guy
who went to the doctor once,
and the doctor's office is a horrible, horrible place.
It can't be as horrible as the suds.
( sneezes )
Oh, it is, SpongeBob!
Well, first they make you sit in the... waiting room.
Is that the horrible part, Patrick?
No, it gets worse.
They make you read old magazines.
( yelps )
Then the doctor pulls out his stethoscope.
No!
Yes!
It's a device so sinister,
so icy cold, when it touches your bare flesh,
it... ( hisses )
( shrieks )
No! No! No stethoscope!
No doctor!
No old magazines!
No... ( hisses ) No!
Patrick, I don't want to go the doctor.
Exactly.
( sneezes )
You got to help me get better, Patrick.
( sniffles ): Please?
Would you like to be my doctor, Patrick?
What else are friends for?
( gears up to sneeze; sneezes )
It appears as though
we'll have to plug up these holes.
This ought to do the trick.
Voilà!
( starts to sneeze, then stops )
Feel better?
I don't know.
( stifled sneeze )
Help, I'm shrinking.
No! Please, don't hurt me!
No bubbles!
Patrick, your treatment is working.
You think so?
Sure!
At this rate I'll be cured in no time.
In fact, I'm going to call Sandy
and tell her not to come.
Thanks, Dr. Patrick.
And they said I'd never make anything out of myself.
( groans )
My fingers are too big for the buttons.
( sniffles )
Dr. Patrick, could you call Sandy for me?
Sure, patient SpongeBob.
( phone cuckoos )
Hello, Sandy?
Hiya, Patrick.
I'm calling on behalf of my patient, SpongeBob.
I'm on my way over
to take him to the hospital.
Uh... uh... that will no longer be required.
He is in my care as of today.
Well, I'm coming over to take a look.
I'll be over there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot...
Oh, yeah, yeah, the rabbit.
Don't bother, Sandy.
SpongeBob, quick, Sandy's coming.
We've got to make sure you're well,
or she'll take you to the doctor.
Don't touch me, I'm sterile.
Scalpel, please.
Feeling better?
Uh-uh.
Felling better yet?
Not really.
How...
about...
now?
( groans ): I don't...
( groans ): think so.
Feeling better?
No.
( shrieks )
How about now?
Nope.
( shrieks )
How about now?
Uh-uh.
( shrieks )
SANDY: Hello, SpongeBob.
( Gregorian chant plays ) Uh-oh, it's Sandy.
( stifled sneeze )
PATRICK: There's no one home.
Patrick, you open this door.
( sighs )
Patrick, sometimes I just don't understand you.
( SpongeBob sneezes, sneeze gets stifled )
Hey!
Okay, Patrick, where's SpongeBob?
Uh... uh... he's not here at the moment.
Please leave a message after the beep.
( imitates beep )
Okay, now, tell me.
Since when do you have two houses?
Since I ran out of space to put my stuff.
Uh-huh, yep.
Since when does your house have feet?
This is my mobile home.
( SpongeBob sneezes, sneeze gets stifled )
Hiya, Sandy.
Hmm, the dirt therapy
seems to be working just fine.
Patrick, SpongeBob has to see a real doctor.
No, he doesn't! I'm taking good care of him!
Show her, SpongeBob.
Say "ah."
Ah...
( birds tweeting )
( crackling; tweeting stops )
See? He's even worse than I thought.
What do you mean?
He's fine.
I'm okay, Sandy, really.
( gears up to sneeze )
( sneeze gets stifled )
I'm taking you to the doctor right now.
Hey, that's my patient.
You can't take him to the doctor's.
Don't be silly, Patrick.
PATRICK: He's mine.
SANDY: SpongeBob, you'll be better soon.
I'll save you!
I'm ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-better, guys, really.
( Patrick and Sandy grunt )
Now look what you've done, Patrick.
What I've done?
Everything was fine until you showed up.
You should be arrested for impersonating a doctor.
Hey, I'm a good doctor. Right, SpongeBob?
Right!
Huh? SpongeBob?
I can't stop now!
Help me!
Shiny tines.
Mr. Krabs!
SpongeBob?
Stop, SpongeBob!
( yelping )
Stop!
Oh!
( gears up to sneeze )
( sneezes explosively )
Well, Mr. SquarePants, it seems you have the suds.
Are you ready for your treatment?
( sniffles )
You're not going to make me
read old magazines, are you?
No, silly, you get the sponge treatment.
Oh, Hans.
( SpongeBob whoops )
SPONGEBOB: Yeah!
( chuckles ): This tickles.
( sniffles )
I can smell again!
( whoops )
( cheers )
( whoops )
Yeah!
I feel as good as new.
I love the doctor!
HANS: Here's your lollipop.
A lollipop?
Hey, Doc, I got the suds, too.
Oh, yes, Dr. Patrick.
We have a special treatment for you.
( guffaws )
( Patrick guffaws )
PATRICK: Hey, wait.
Ouch! Ooh, that hurts.
Wait!
Hey, this doesn't seem right!